Welcome back, readers. You all look lovely today, if you don’t mind my saying so. Now that I’ve warmed you up with flattery, let’s try a little exercise, shall we?
I want you to close your eyes and relax…yes, even if you’re at work or on the subway. Just trust me. And keep one hand on your pepper spray if you’re on the subway, two hands on the keyboard if you’re at work…vice versa if you work in a seedy part of town or take a train with wi-fi.
I want you to visualize a calendar…the date on that calendar is Sunday, May 8th, 2016.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
I am a mother to a 7-year old and an almost 5-year old. By now you know that I’m pretty good at math, so I can tell you with confidence that 50% of the time I’m a fantastic mom, 40% of the time I’m mediocre, and 10% of the time I’m subpar.
When I’m stuck in that 10%, I look to my own mom for inspiration. She’s one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet and, to this day, she never fails to make me feel special. Being the television lover I am, I also look to some tv moms for inspiration.
So, without further adieu (to yu, and yu, and yu), I give you The Moms of Television Who Inspire me!
Mindy Lahiri (The Mindy Project)
Is she a good mother? Probably. We haven’t had the chance to see much of her maternal side. That said, her abundance of confidence, her sass, and her sense of style is enough to add her to the list. I also fully appreciate that she refuses to lose who she is into the machine that is motherhood.
Catelyn Stark (Game of Thrones)
If you aren’t watching Game of Thrones, I can’t help you. But there is a reason Little Finger has been obsessed with this woman for his entire existence. It’s a great pleasure to watch Sansa grow to be more like her in small ways.
Dear Gods of GoT, Please let Sansa have a happy ending. Amen.
Rebecca Katsopolis (Full House)
In a house run by Bob Saget, Dave Coulier, and John Stamos, thank the tv gods for Becky. She taught D.J. how to wear make-up and…okay, so that’s the only maternal thing of consequence I can recall right now and how important is that in the grand scheme of things? Semi? Oh! There was that time she gave birth to twins. Have mercy! In conclusion, Jesse & the Rippers 4EVAH. (Side note: In case it isn’t clear, I’m not sure why she’s on this list.)
Shirley Renfrew Partridge (The Partridge Family)
What do you do if you are tragically widowed and have a family to support?
Frilly pirate shirts? Check. Matching velvet burgundy vests and bell bottoms? Check. LOAD UP THE INSTRUMENTS, KIDS, WE’RE GOING ON THE ROAD! Talk about making lemonade out of some horrifically sad lemons.
Elyse Keaton (Family Ties)
Tough, loving, fierce, and forgiving. But, above all? MEREDITH BAXTER, muthutruckuhs. ‘Nuff said.
Eat your soup, Alex P. Keaton.
(Side Note/Confession: I had a major crush on Alex P. Keaton as a young girl. No, not Michael J. Fox–that would make sense. It was on that Nixon-supporting Alex. Now I have the hots for Steven Keaton. The beard! The job in public television! Hubba hubba!)
Claire Dunphy (Modern Family)
You know what I like about Claire? I like that she sees her kids’ strengths and weaknesses and yet still lets herself be surprised by them. She is devoted to those rascals (and Phil, the biggest rascal of them all) without compromising her own interests and potential.
(Side Note: my husband has a crush on her. MLC, this charming gif is for you…)
Gloria Delgado-Pritchett (Modern Family)
Oh, Gloria…she’s a feisty, fabulous woman, isn’t she? The best thing about Gloria is the way she encourages her son to be himself. Even if that’s an espresso swilling, fedora wearing, pan flute playing casanova. Plus, she’s just a little bit scary, which is an important quality for a mother to possess.
Tami Taylor (Friday Night Lights)
This woman perfection. She is my patronus. Or maybe Connie Britton is my patronus. Of course, my patronus might just be Connie Britton’s hair…It doesn’t really matter what I choose, any of them could get rid of a pack of dementors like they were houseflies. Houseflies hell bent on sucking the joy out of you with their evil hoover mouths.
I know Julie Taylor didn’t appreciate the awesomeness of her mom, but there’s a very logical explanation for that: Julie was an idiot.
She puts up with a lot and really tries her best to stay positive, but Shirley’s not perfect. She’s got a breaking point and gossip is her vice of choice. I get her. We’re on this path to perfection together, Shirl.
Lorelei Gilmore (Gilmore Girls)
I love this show so hard that my heart actually lives in Star’s Hollow. It buys antiques from Mrs. Kim, eats homestyle cooking at Luke’s, and argues with Taylor about when the next town meeting should be. What makes this show so great? Smart writing, story arcs that stay true to the characters, and these gals…
Yes, Lorelei ended up with the wrong man in the end (come and debate me on that, suckers), and Rory ended up in a time machine and having an affair with a Mad Men weasel, but I’ve rewritten their stories in my heart…that heart that resides in Star’s Hollow…
HONORABLE MENTION TV MOMS….
Karen Walker (Will & Grace)
Would I ever leave my offspring in a room alone with Karen Walker? Of course not, I love them. But I have to include Karen on this list. She’s one of television’s greatest characters.
Do I miss Will & Grace every day? No, that would be pathetic. I miss that show every other day.
I KNOW Jane Goodall’s a real person and not a television character, but she’s been on The Daily Show a few times and is basically the mother of all gorillas, so I’m including her. That woman is downright magical and I will fistfight with anyone who says otherwise.
Ground Rules for the Fistfight:
1. Not in the face.
2. Seriously. NOT IN THE FACE.
And now, ladies and gentlemen of the internet jury, I leave you with this:
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!