Another school year is upon us. And you know how I like my School Year’s Resolutions. Even when you aren’t a student/don’t live with any students, this feels like a time of reflection and renewal, wouldn’t you say? You know, blah blah blah, [insert You’ve Got Mail quote about a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils here], etc, so on and so forth.
Since I’ve hit what we’re collectively feeling so poignantly and particularly on the head, let’s move onto the resolutions bit.
This summer I ended up behind a nervous woman at an airport. She was probably twenty years or so my senior, on her way to board the same airplane I was. We had already scanned our tickets and all we had to do was go down an escalator, walk through a corridor, and find the outdoor gate leading to our plane.
But the woman wouldn’t go down the escalator.
She was traveling by herself for the first time, maybe ever, and she was afraid she was going the wrong way. (I should also point out here that, unless she wanted to go backwards, there was only ONE way to go.)
That small moment of my summer has stuck with me. I really don’t want to feel the way that woman felt.
I have a fear of being fearful. Admittedly, I’m a big chicken. If we’re at an amusement park and you’re keen on going on a roller coaster, I will happily hold your purse and your sunglasses, but I’m not getting on that contraption with you. I AM NOT.
When I was thinking about this year’s resolutions, I briefly considered battling those fears. But then I realized something:
If you gave me the choice between going on that roller coaster with you or uprooting my life and moving my family to, say, Norway, I would choose the latter without a single heart palpitation. I’m not scared of everything. Moving to an unknown city doesn’t bother me, I know this from experience. Rickety rides with massive drops really do. I also know this from experience. I also know I’m too old to change those chicken spots and what would I really gain out of doing something that makes me want to freak out and cry? A sense of accomplishment? Pffft. I get that every time I successfully parallel park my car.
Previously, I’ve chosen words or mantras to act as my School Year’s Resolutions. I’ve clung to Perseverance, let myself Release, focused on Compassion, and now I’m ready for something new.
My kids will both be in full-day school for the FIRST TIME EVER (soooo many feeeeeelings…), I’m starting out the year with a literary agent, one book on submission to publishing houses and another that I’m revising, plus a whole host of plot bunnies and ideas in my head. It’s a year of change and growth. With that in mind, my School Year’s Resolution word is: GO.
I won’t be that woman who can’t get on an escalator and find her plane. And, while I’m not going to be the person at the front of the line for the next thrill ride, I am going to make this a year of momentum. Every time I try to self-reject or talk myself out of doing something I want to do, I’m gonna tell myself to GO. To move. To make it happen.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got ideas to act on.